Zombies by the Sea – Excerpt 1

Zombies by the Sea – Excerpt 1

  The town council of Littlehampton by the Sea was having a panic session.Trade in the town had fallen drastically and people no longer saw the town as their first choice for a holiday by the sea, Drastic measures must be taken.

All the council were sat waiting, as was his way, the Mayor was fashionably late. and as per usual the meeting had proceeded without him.

‘Let us be perfectly frank!’ stated the Deputy Mayor, ‘The name of  the town Littlehampton, does us no favours, it sounds like the Mayor’s shrivelled appendage, the one he can’t see for his enormous stomach.’

‘That sort of talk is in bad taste, there’s a lady present,’ objected the treasurer. ‘It’s quite alright,’ said the old spinster Miss Mellors ‘ I’ve seen it all before!’ ‘I’m sure the old bat is going deaf?’ said the Deputy Mayor. ‘What is wrong with my hat?’ said Miss Mellors. ‘Nothing my dear, it looks perfectly delightful!’ Replied the treasurer trying to get back to business.

Sanjay Patel, who due to his numerous business interests in the town had managed to secure a seat on the council, raised his voice to state his own opinion, ‘When is something going to be done about this ridiculous state of affairs, we are all losing money, doesn’t anybody care, am I the only one here who does?’

‘Of course, we are all concerned,’ agreed the treasurer, ‘But what do we do?’  ‘I would have thought that was obvious,’ Stated Sanjay, ‘We have to find a relatively inexpensive way of promoting the town.’ ‘No decisions can be made until the Mayor gets here?’ stated his deputy, ‘Where the hell is he, It’s time he was here.’

The Mayor was apparently almost on his way, he was pulling up his enormous Y-fronts after gallantly attempting to service the Treasurers wife, a lady of even more ample proportions than his own. Attempting to make love doggy fashion to a lady with a more than ample rear, when you, yourself have a somewhat ample stomach, does tend to present some interesting logistical problems, but after several near misses, he managed to grasp her rather matronly bosoms and using those for leverage, penetration was achieved, a few grunts and moans and she had achieved her climax once again.

The Mayor to give credit where its due, was a crass overweight braggart, but he must have something as a string of middle- aged married ladies would attest. He took advantage of any and all opportunities.

(C) Damian Grange 2018




16 thoughts on “Zombies by the Sea – Excerpt 1

  1. I actually wrote this as an homage to Tom Sharp and Leslie Thomas two great comedy writers, a lot of the characters are actually based on people I know. Thank you so much for your interest and encouragement!


  2. Thank you so much Gregg, I thought I’d try something a little different. I’ve been having a few problems and you aren’t coming up in reader, i don’t know whether its me or Word Press that’s at fault!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s