Zombies by the Sea – Excerpt 1
The town council of Littlehampton by the Sea was having a panic session.Trade in the town had fallen drastically and people no longer saw the town as their first choice for a holiday by the sea, Drastic measures must be taken.
All the council were sat waiting, as was his way, the Mayor was fashionably late. and as per usual the meeting had proceeded without him.
‘Let us be perfectly frank!’ stated the Deputy Mayor, ‘The name of the town Littlehampton, does us no favours, it sounds like the Mayor’s shrivelled appendage, the one he can’t see for his enormous stomach.’
‘That sort of talk is in bad taste, there’s a lady present,’ objected the treasurer. ‘It’s quite alright,’ said the old spinster Miss Mellors ‘ I’ve seen it all before!’ ‘I’m sure the old bat is going deaf?’ said the Deputy Mayor. ‘What is wrong with my hat?’ said Miss Mellors. ‘Nothing my dear, it looks perfectly delightful!’ Replied the treasurer trying to get back to business.
Sanjay Patel, who due to his numerous business interests in the town had managed to secure a seat on the council, raised his voice to state his own opinion, ‘When is something going to be done about this ridiculous state of affairs, we are all losing money, doesn’t anybody care, am I the only one here who does?’
‘Of course, we are all concerned,’ agreed the treasurer, ‘But what do we do?’ ‘I would have thought that was obvious,’ Stated Sanjay, ‘We have to find a relatively inexpensive way of promoting the town.’ ‘No decisions can be made until the Mayor gets here?’ stated his deputy, ‘Where the hell is he, It’s time he was here.’
The Mayor was apparently almost on his way, he was pulling up his enormous Y-fronts after gallantly attempting to service the Treasurers wife, a lady of even more ample proportions than his own. Attempting to make love doggy fashion to a lady with a more than ample rear, when you, yourself have a somewhat ample stomach, does tend to present some interesting logistical problems, but after several near misses, he managed to grasp her rather matronly bosoms and using those for leverage, penetration was achieved, a few grunts and moans and she had achieved her climax once again.
The Mayor to give credit where its due, was a crass overweight braggart, but he must have something as a string of middle- aged married ladies would attest. He took advantage of any and all opportunities.
(C) Damian Grange 2018
The mayor has indeed his priorities…..it could easily be mayor of a little Italian fisherman village😂
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Shall we put it down to the sea air!
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😮
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I promise, it does get funnier!
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The Mayor to give credit where its due…..indeed he does😂😂
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He’s adept at giving out donations!
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Oh my gosh!
This is a hilariously funny story, my friend. 😂
I’m looking forward to reading more.
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This is my homage to the likes of Tom Sharp and Leslie Thomas, Comedy writers that I personally admire. I’m glad you liked it!
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Great humour!
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This is something a little different for me, but i thought it worthy of a try!
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Interesting!
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Its my homage to Tom Sharpe and Leslie Thomas, two great British comedy writers
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The last paragraph had me laugh that I almost rolled over my desk!
This is so brilliantly hilarious!
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I actually wrote this as an homage to Tom Sharp and Leslie Thomas two great comedy writers, a lot of the characters are actually based on people I know. Thank you so much for your interest and encouragement!
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So many great one liners! Very clever 😂
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Thank you so much Gregg, I thought I’d try something a little different. I’ve been having a few problems and you aren’t coming up in reader, i don’t know whether its me or Word Press that’s at fault!
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